Tuesday, 1 December 2015

keep living in your own twisted sense of reality


I've been gone for a long time and I'm sorry.
We moved house the middle of October and I've only recently been able to get a semi-decent internet connection AND I've been organising a new business venture.... but more about all that and what we've been up to later.

I wanted to write an update post after my hiatus, until something happened yesterday that got me really annoyed and I had to vent about it.

You might remember a post I wrote about being a sort of Google super sleuth. Every so often I will browse the internet looking up a couple of people to find anything I can that they've commented on. Usually it's D and his sister J as I know the screen names they use and the sites they post on.

D seems to spend most of his time on a forum called reddit commenting on the most ridiculous questions. Add the time spent on there to his guitar playing, computer gaming, some thing called 'cubing', coffee drinking and baked goods eating, no wonder he doesn't have time for basic personal hygiene. He really was a stinky slob when we were together but I overlooked that because of his sense of humour and cute smile.

So, on this reddit forum, there was a question "Why is your ex an ex?"
The correct answer would have been "because I'm an idiot and didn't respect her feelings and she deserved better than that" but of course that isn't how he answered.
Apparently I was childishly jealous of his sister being pregnant. Incorrect. I was a normal level of jealous and it set off my depression in a big way, as I was 30 years old and had wanted a baby for many years. It also really hurt me when he went along to her 3D ultrasound as to me that's an experience you share with your partner when you have your own child. For him to say I was childishly jealous just goes to show how little he understood or even cared about my feelings.
I forced him to choose between me and his family (and he still has a grudge against me for that). I never forced him to do anything of the sort, I just explained to him that perhaps it was time cut the cord a little bit. Their relationship and involvement with each other was a little too close for my liking. Having a loving and supportive family is wonderful but not when you're 28 years old and your mummy still treats you like a little boy and complains when she hasn't seen you for a couple of days and gets upset because your girlfriend is taking you overseas for your birthday and it will be the first birthday she hasn't seen you. I have a son of my own now and there is no way I will be like that with him. Perhaps she should have spent her time teaching him some basic life skills like cooking and cleaning and the basic personal hygiene I mentioned before.
It only took me 2 months to find another sucker and get pregnant and kick him out before #2 was born. It's nice when someone comments on something they know absolutely NOTHING about! As you all know, that's not what happened at all.
His final words on the topic? What a mongface. Wow. Name calling, how mature.

I decided to set him straight and sent him a FB message saying that it is AMAZING what can be found on the internet these days and that I think he's a little unclear on some of the facts.
His reply was "thanks for your opinion on that".
My response back - "opinion is only a belief, facts can be supported by evidence".

The reason why your ex is an ex is because you had no idea how to be in a relationship, spending time with your girlfriend was always an afterthought, you were extremely lazy and irresponsible and she'd had enough of you sweating buckets on her during really bad sex.

Friday, 4 September 2015

i'm thinking the search may be futile

I'm not ready for another relationship just yet, but I decided to join another online dating site - this time Oasis Active - to see who is out there, perhaps start a conversation and get to know each other and see what happens in the future.

Off to a great start already <insert sarcasm>.

To start a conversation with someone, you have to "like" their profile and then they have to also "like" yours, or vice versa and then they get added to your contacts where you can start chatting to them in a private message.

I was notified I had a "like" from someone - I'll call him doucheburger for the purpose of this story - and so I clicked on his profile. We had absolutely nothing in common, but he had a few pictures of himself so I decided to "like" his profile and say hi. After all, maybe opposites attract?

<me> Hi. How are you? Just wanted to say I like your photos, even though we have absolutely nothing in common.
<doucheburger> lol thanks. What are you up to today?
<me> Just the usual, looking after my little ones. What about yourself?

doucheburger has removed your from his contacts or deleted his profile.

What the? My profile clearly states that I am a single Mum who has 2 tiny humans. He could have at least said "seeya" or "thanks for contacting me but I'm not interested". Don't think he's going to have much luck finding a relationship when he has no manners or conversation skills.

My profile also clearly states that I am looking for someone who lives within 15kms from me. So why am I getting "likes" from guys in different states? Different COUNTRIES? Can they not read?

Sounds like he's an intelligent guy, yet he didn't understand "within 15kms from me"
Righty-o. Good luck with that.
Also getting a lot of interest from men who are in their 40's and 50's, when my profile specifies I am seeking men between the age of 30 and 36.

Searching through the profiles is sort of depressing. I get that it is sometimes hard to describe yourself - I know I had major troubles trying to write my profile in a way to attract someone's attention and interest - but when someone says they are intelligent and have made at least 10 spelling mistakes in 6 sentences, I have my doubts.

I feel I am destined to be single forever! Which might not be such a bad thing.

Wednesday, 26 August 2015

a little encouragment or confidence boosting wouldn't go astray

While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed today, I found an advertisement I was interested in. I clicked on the link, read what it involved and it sounded really exciting and fun and my first thought was "I want to do this!" The only thing is, it's totally out of my comfort zone.

Here's the deal:

Create a 2 minute video answering "Why are you passionate about tech?" and "Why would you make a great tech tester"

Semi-finalists will be required to participate in a video interview over Skype.

The Tech Testers must attend a 2 day workshop in Sydney. Lunch provided both days up to $40 per person. $300 provided for incidentals. Flights paid for and 2 nights accommodation, Maximum value of the workshop will be between $380 - $1280 depending on location.

Tech Testers provided with:
A MacBook Air or similar laptop valued up to $1539 

Editing software valued up to $379
A camera valued up to $499
A tripod valued up at $65.95

To use for 12 months and if all 12 reviews are completed, kept as a thank you.

Each month, provided with a product to review. Total of all 12 products will be valued at a minimum of $6000 and not exceed $12,000. Products can be kept if review is completed.

WOW! All that free technology! Technology is my THING! How amazing would this be?

I told my Mum about it and along with some major eye rolling, the first words out her mouth were "as if YOU can do that."

Thanks Mum. Way to have some faith and confidence in me. This is how it's been my whole life. No wonder there are a lot of things that I can't do, things that set my anxiety into overdrive, even though I would love to do them.

I'm not going to be that way with my children. If they tell me they want to do something (within reason) then I will give them the encouragement and support they deserve. And if they happen to be unsuccessful, there will no "I told you so", but there will be a "better luck next time, at least you had a go and gave it your best shot".

I really want to enter just to prove that even though I might not have the confidence, I can do anything I want to if I want it badly enough.

*I started writing this on Monday, the entries close tomorrow and so I've run out of time :(

Friday, 21 August 2015

(PRODUCT REVIEW) love to dream swaddle up

This is a review on the Love To Dream Swaddle UP. I was not paid for this review and all opinions are my own. I purchased the product myself.

Most babies love to be swaddled, or wrapped nice and tightly. It stops their startle reflex and makes them feel safe and secure. I wrapped L until she was about a year old, although it became increasingly difficult to do as she got bigger and she was always a bit of an escape artist. I was just using a muslin wrap and no sooner had we got her all wrapped up she'd start to wriggle her arms until they were out (sometimes one little hand was out even before we'd finished!) It also took me a while to transition her to one arm out and then both arms out, but I did it when she was ready and not just because someone was telling me she was too old to still be wrapped. I knew that if she wasn't wrapped, or wrapped properly, that she would wake up well before she was due for a bottle and as I was the one to get up with her during the night then I wanted to make sure that this didn't happen.

Z became a Houdini as soon as he got home. It was incredibly hard to wrap him, but if I didn't he would cut his face up with his sharp little nails. Mittens just wouldn't stay on. I had heard great things about the Love To Dream Swaddle UP so I decided to buy one.

Instead of their arms being down by their sides or across their bodies, the Swaddle UP secures their arms in an upright position, allowing the baby to soothe themselves by sucking their hands or rubbing their face.

Image from Baby Junction website
There are 3 stages to the Love To swaddle range:

UP (0-4 months) - both arms up
50/50 (4-8 months) - to transition baby towards being arms-free, one arm is up and the other is free
Sleep Bag (4-36 months) - Both arms free, legs still covered.

They are available in different sizes, colours and "togs". A tog measurement is a warmth rating, the higher the tog the warmer the product will be. There are guidelines to help you work out what tog will be most suited for the climate or temperature of your baby's room, what the baby should be wearing underneath and how many blankets to put over the top.

My likes:
  • Easy to put on, no baby wrangling required!
  • 2-way zip for easy nappy changes
  • Helps to self settle
My dislikes:
  • The price. Starting at $39.95AU (more for Limited Edition design/colours). I have 3 as Z likes to throw up or wet through his nappy and I could probably do with a couple more. All are in the same size, so I will then have to buy 3 or more in the next size up, in either the UP or the 50/50 depending on if I feels he's ready to be transitioned.
  • When he sucks his little winged hands and then rubs his face, he ends up with really dry and red patches of skin on the side of his face. 
VERDICT: I really wish I had bought these for L!

For more information: www.lovetodream.com.au

Thursday, 20 August 2015

when to seek medical advice for your children

It is heartbreaking when your little ones get sick. You feel so helpless and usually second guess yourself - "should I take them to the doctor? Should I take them to the hospital? Should I give them Panadol?" etc.

I found this handy little article on Kidspot - 10 kids' symptoms you should never ignore.

Coughs and colds will generally run their course and all you can do is make sure your child is hydrated, either by more frequent breast/bottle feeds or water if they are at the appropriate age and giving pain relief or a lukewarm bath to bring down a temperature.

Rashes/spots are still a bit of a mystery to me as they could be ANYTHING - hives from an allergic reaction to something, a viral rash, chicken pox, mozzie bites or meningitis etc. The thing is, some rashes look completely the same and it can be hard to tell the difference.  

With regards to high fevers -
Seek medical attention if your child is:
  • Younger than 3 months and has a temperature of 38°C or higher.
  • Between 3 to 6 months and has a temperature higher than 38.9°C.
  • A newborn and has a lower than normal temperature – less than 36.1°C. Very young babies may not regulate body temperature well when they’re ill and may become cold rather than hot.
  • Any age and has a temperature over 39.4°C
Otherwise keep your child hydrated and give pain relief to make them comfortable.

Head to the GP if:
  • Your child has had a fever for longer than 5 days and is getting sicker rather than better. This is a sign of possible infection and will require antibiotics.
Head to the hospital if:
  • Your child shows signs of dehydration, is glassy-eyed or unresponsive. 
  • Your child also has a headache or a stiff neck. This may be a sign or meningitis.
In most cases a fever accompanied by a rash is caused by a mild virus called roseola.

Head to the hospital if:
  • If you notice your child has dry mouth and lips, has fewer wet nappies than usual, a flat fontanelle (in an infant), dry skin or skin that stays bunched when you pinch it, excessive vomiting or diarrhoea - this could be a severe case of dehydration and requires urgent medical attention.
Head to the hospital if:
  • Your child has a headache and is vomiting - this combination can be a sign of meningitis.

Head to the GP or hospital if:
  • Your child complains of sudden stomach pains around the navel with progress to a sharp pain in the lower right side. This can be a sign of appendicitis. Other symptoms include: pain in the lower back, hamstring or rectum, fever, vomiting, diarrhoea or constipation and loss of appetite.
If the appendix bursts then its infected contents will spread through the abdomen. An infection can be life threatening without prompt treatment.

One of the most important symptoms in this article is when your gut instinct tells you something is not right. Never feel like it's stupid to push and persist for help if you feel there is something not right. I took L to hospital just because it was taking longer than usual to get her to go to sleep and she was screaming and screaming which was so out of character for her. She had no fever, wasn't off her bottles or food, but they still took me seriously and did an xray and an ultrasound, even transferred us by ambulance to another hospital. They thought she may have a problem with her bowel but in the end it turned out to be a little bit of constipation. I didn't think it would be constipation as she was pooing every couple of days and I thought it was only considered constipation if it was longer than 10 days.

We are lucky in Australia to have a hotline to ring to ask a registered nurse for advice if we are unsure what to do. Call HealthDirect on 1800 022 222. This is not just advice for babies or children but for everyone.

Please read the article for more symptoms you should not ignore.

The Panadol site also has a nifty dosage calculator that works out the correct dosage of all the childrens' range based on age and weight. For example, L is nearly 2 and roughly 11.5kgs. If I gave her Baby Drops (1 month - 2 years) she'd have a 1.5-1.8mL dosage. Panadol Suspension 1-5years she'd have a 6-8mL dosage. Panadol Suspension 5-12 years she'd have 3-4mL and Panadol Elixir 5-12 years she'd have 3-4mL. Definitely much easier than trying to work it out yourself based on the amount of paracetamol per mL for their weight and less chance of an overdose. Of course it's better to buy the correct product for your child, but sometimes you may run out without realising and have the other one on hand for another child, or have accidentally purchased the wrong one.

(PRODUCT REVIEW) shh, shh - baby shusher

This is a review on the Baby Shusher. I was not paid for this review and all opinions are my own. I purchased the product myself when I responded to a Facebook post to receive 20% off.

It gets very tiring continuously making a shushing sound to get a baby to sleep, so what better product to buy than one that does the hard work for you!

Designed to be most effective from birth to 6 months of age, I decided to give it a go anyway even though L was over a year old. We were using the shushing method to get her to sleep (along with patting, singing, rocking, white noise, vodka in the bottle - just kidding!) so I was willing to give it a try and save my poor mouth from going dry.

Switched it on to have a listen and WOAH, it's kind of creepy. It sounds like a man is standing in the room saying shhhhhh shhhhhh repeatedly (but don't worry, you do get used to it and eventually you don't even notice it anymore).

Night 1 - The lovely person who contacted me from their Facebook Page suggested that L take ownership of the shusher and to make her feel like it's a special thing to take to bed. So I let her lay down and play with it and within a minute she was... crying cos she had hit herself in the head with it. Awesome. I moved the shusher onto her desk and left it on as we tried a million other things to get her to sleep. There's something about Thursday night bed time that makes her go a bit silly.

And that was the end of that. I didn't try using it again with her. Thankfully she now goes to sleep with a kiss and a good night-have a great sleep-see you in the morning-I love you.

I started using it with Z as soon as he got home, in conjunction with a white noise machine set on the heartbeat noise. He's not much of a screamer so I haven't seen if it helps settle him during a screaming episode, but it definitely works with getting him to sleep! He has self settled perfectly, no rocking or patting required. He is fed, burped, put down on the playmat for some play time, he yawns and I put him in his swaddle, put him in the pram (yes he sleeps in the pram, just like his sister!), tuck him in, put the shusher and white noise on, take him into a room where L won't disturb him, check him in 5 minutes and he's asleep (or if not asleep, he's relaxed and quiet).

It has a handy 15 minute or 30 minute timer (I always put it on 30 minutes) and a volume control, which we have down at a low level at the moment as I found he doesn't really like it when it's up loud.

Yes, you can download apps on your phone that do the same thing BUT I use my phone a lot (always on Facebook or playing Candy Crush) so being without my phone is not an option. You'd have to put your phone on airplane mode so it doesn't ring or make any other notification noise which would disturb your baby and defeat the purpose and is it really that safe to put a phone that close to their head?

VERDICT - I really like this product and highly recommend it.

RRP $55.95AU or like their Facebook page to be notified of any discounts or giveaways.

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

L & Z update

Today I have  22 month old and a 3 month old!

Very soon L will be 2. I already have most of her presents on layby from when the toy sales were on earlier in the year (I never usually layby but as we are in the process of moving house it was easier instead of having to store them here and then move them to the new house).
This year I've been able to organise her party without every idea I've had being ignored or rejected. I will be making her cake this year, it will be a macaron tower so I'm hoping I can make perfect macarons as they can be fussy little things!

She is getting more confident with her walking but does still prefer to crawl or shuffle around on her knees. Her communication and understanding is incredible. On the weekend, she had 2 visits with G and on Sunday I asked her what she had for lunch, did she have a sandwich? No response. Did she have noodles? She nodded. So I texted G and asked what she had for lunch and he said she had noodles! I've also been asking her to tell me if she's done a poo poo and the other day she said "poo poo" and sure enough, she'd done one! She can identify all the numbers from 1-10, even if she can't say them. She's learning more words every day.

Z is a perfect little man. He has a long stint between his last bottle at night to the next one, which allows me to have a pretty decent sleep. During the day it can be anywhere from 2.5 hours to 4 hours between bottles. He is full of smiles and the occasional giggle. He self settles very well with his shusher and heartbeat white noise machine on. Still a bit refluxy but it doesn't seem to bother him.

They are both in cahoots with each other though, they both wake up either at the same time or within 10 minutes. Z always wants a bottle right at the time L needs a wash and bottle before going to bed at 7:30. If we miss the 7:30 mark then she tends to get a bit rotten and plays up a bit. L doesn't really pay him much attention, she leaves him alone and glances at him from time to time. I still don't know whether this is a good or bad thing.  It does upset her when he is crying so we try to make sure he's at the other end of the house during dinner time or bed time.

G still hasn't met Z. I got the birth certificate sent back without his name on it as the Father as he didn't sign it, even though he was given plenty of opportunities. He tells everyone he is the Father, but he can't sign a piece of legal documentation to say that? I don't know what happens now, but I'm not going to push the issue... he knows what he has to do if he wants to meet him.