Friday, 3 July 2015

more things I'm remembering...

G told me his password to get into his phone. I never abused the privilege. I never had a password for my phone or tablet until L got a bit older and wanted to play with them. G never noticed I had a password and I didn't tell him; if he had needed either my phone or tablet for something then I would have told him what it was.

When we split up for the first time (although it was really a break, not a break up - we were trying to work things out) I noticed him putting his password into his phone... and it was different. I didn't mention anything straight away and I didn't think to be suspicious, I was just more curious. Then one day I just casually came out with "did you change your password?" His answer was no. I replied "I can see you're putting it in different". His answer? "It's not different, it's just backwards."

Fast forward a few months, we're back living together but a couple of days away from him kicking me out. He brings up the topic of his changed password and why he changed it - because staying at his mate's place he was watching/downloading a lot of porn. Hmmm... but that doesn't bother me and he knows that. And I wouldn't have been going through his phone looking for videos anyway, I would only need to use it to make a phone call or check something on the Internet if my own phone was playing up. So when I think about it now, he was obviously up to no good - probably texting his now girlfriend - I don't believe the porn story for a second.

Anyway, a couple of days before he kicked me out, he went through the Facebook messages on my old phone that didn't have a password on it - obviously I have nothing to hide as I left it out in the lounge room, because I thought I could trust him. He came to bed upset, I could tell he was crying so I asked him what was wrong and why was he crying, but he didn't answer me. I rubbed his back for a minute then rolled over and went to sleep - I was tired and would have to get up in the middle of the night with L. I had tried to find out what was wrong but he wouldn't speak to me. The next night when he did tell me, he said that he was having a breakdown and I showed how much I didn't care about him cos I just went to sleep! Then he admitted he had gone through the Facebook messages on my phone and read what I'd written to one of my good friends about him. The reason he did this was because he'd noticed that whenever he came near me, I'd close down whatever it was that I was looking at like I was hiding something. Well, it wasn't Facebook messages I was closing down - I'm in a Facebook support group for mums that had babies around the same time L was born and I didn't want him to see the pictures or read what the other mums were posting. So he read these messages and didn't like what he read and asked me how I felt about him reading them. I said it didn't bother me, they were my feelings about how he was treating me. He said he wasn't proud of going through my phone, but he couldn't promise he wouldn't do it again.  Of course I ended up putting a password on that phone too and sure enough on the Saturday when he kicked me out he had tried to go through my phone again but found he couldn't. The guy I had been messaging was my friend of 13 years, married with a beautiful little girl and he would be coming to L's birthday party in a week so I think G was embarrassed that he would have to see him and that his family would be around my family and my family might say something to them about what was going on and he didn't want to have to deal with that as he doesn't tell his family anything - well anything but lies apparently.

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