Saturday, 21 March 2015

so what does she do all day?

As part of our mediation agreement, I have to give G a weekly update on L. Which was easy enough for the first week - I wrote a list of her favourite foods, that she got her 3rd tooth on 16th February, that if he noticed any spots it was because she was getting over chicken pox, the fact that she's not yet walking but is starting to show an interest.

The second week there wasn't anything really to report. So I left a note to say that if there was anything specific he wanted to know, just ask. At the last visit, all I wrote was she had had a cold since Sunday, just a runny/snuffly nose and luckily no signs of a cough.
Before he left, he said to my Mum "I just don't know what she does all day or how many bottles she has".

I wonder what he thinks she does all day? She's 17 months old. She obviously does the housework, makes me my lunch, goes shopping for the groceries, gets dinner prepared, does the dishes, tucks me into bed and then goes out to the pub with her friends. Duh.

What she does is eat, sleep (when she wants to), poop (sometimes) and play. Most of the time I am playing with her, teaching her things, reading her books, but she is also very good at keeping herself entertained for a certain period of time. She's not walking so there's not a lot of going to a park and running around and playing on the play equipment. We've been to the playground a couple of times but she is too young to really enjoy anything - put her on the slide and she just has this blank expression on her face as you slide her down. Same with the swing. I don't drive, so we don't go out many places unless I can get my Dad to take us somewhere and that's usually just to the shop. I don't have many friends so there are no visits from anyone - the ones I do have live too far away and are generally at work during the day. We have started going to playgroup but have only been once as the last 2 weeks L's had a cold and I don't want to go and risk other babies getting sick (responsible parent!)

He had no interest in what she did all day when we were living together and I can bet you he doesn't actually give a fig now either. What he really cares about is what I am doing - looking for ways that I'm not doing things correctly (read: "how he thinks things should be done"). So I have written a list from Sunday until his visit this afternoon of what we do during the day, from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. He will see that no two days are the same, although they follow a very similar pattern. He will scrutinise this list and make unnecessary comments about how she is having a bath too late or perhaps she shouldn't play after her bottle and before bedtime, etc. How such and such goes to bed soooo much earlier than that, how we don't go out often enough (and if we went out everyday, then we'd be going out too much).

If he's trying to find a way to make me look like a bad mother, he won't find any reason that will stand up in court. My daughter is happy, healthy and well loved. I don't put her in harmful situations. I am not under the influence of drugs or alcohol at any time I am with her (or even if I'm not with her for that matter). I provide a stable and comfortable environment for her to live in. That's what matters.


  1. I don't envy what you're going through. That's probably not much comfort, but maybe it helps to know that others sympathize with your situation. I'm really sorry that you have to be going through this, especially with such a young one at home and other on the way.

  2. He wants to know what she does all day. WTF lol that doesn't even SOUND believable. You should tell him she's doing advanced biochemistry and biology! LOL Sorry I'm not trying to make light of the situation but she's 17 months old.

    I'm sorry he's trying to make you out to be a bad mother when it sounds like he's the bad parent.

    Stopping in from ICLW

  3. Wow, how stressful! My sister has a baby daddy like this and it's very taxing....hopefully it will settle soon and you'll be able to move on with your life!! Here via ICLW.