Thursday, 23 July 2015

i should have known then

Hindsight is a bitch.

The first few months of any relationship is usually perfect because you're in the honeymoon period. You're getting to know each other, you're on your best behaviour, you're thoughtful and kind and considerate and showing off your best qualities.

The first 7 months were great except for one argument, which thinking back to it should have been a sign of what was to come.

My dog, K, was very protective of me. If we were having cuddles on the lounge together and G approached me to give me a kiss, K would growl at him as if to say "leave my Mummy alone, this is our time". K understood Mummy had a baby growing in her belly.
G and K got along great. G's own dog was a similar breed although a lot older. K loved it when G got home from work and would throw the ball to him and give him big pats.

One night G and I were in bed and he came out with "K needs to be desexed as he is aggressive. If he bites me I'll kick the shit out of him but if he bites the kids I will kill him."


I spent the night on a mattress on the floor in the spare room. He kept texting me, begging me to come back to bed but I wouldn't. Telling me K was a safety threat to R and the new baby and he wants me to realise how bad it can get, as a responsible dog owner I need to consider this. That I was running from my problems, pushing him away and shutting him out but he wasn't going anywhere - he loved me and he's there for me.

K growled and got snarly at me too and also my Dad - it was his way of telling us to leave him alone. If you're going to keep provoking him, then that's at your own risk. Perhaps teach your son to leave him alone if he was growling - he was old enough to understand. I wouldn't be leaving K alone with the baby at any time. I didn't think it was fair to get his balls chopped off after 5 years, punishing him for something he hadn't done wrong. And my brother's beautiful puppy-girl passed away from complications after being desexed.

Needless to say, I still feel I made the right decision. K was nothing but awesome when L came home. He just wanted to be near her and give her kisses and cuddles but he couldn't get himself close enough. When she got a bit older he just wanted her to pat him but she didn't really have much control of her hands. He didn't care if she was poking him in the eye, he loved the attention from her. It made me sad the day I moved back in with G without K - we couldn't have a dog at the rental place and he had a strong bond with my Dad anyway that I didn't want to break. I haven't seen him for a long time, didn't spend a lot of time with him during my last pregnancy and I love and miss my fur-baby so much :( I hope he knows this.

I should have known then that this would continue - him telling me something in a horrible way, making it sound as if I didn't do this or that then I wasn't a responsible person and I would never forgive myself if something happened, making me feel like shit and then telling me he loved me and I could talk to him and tell him anything.

No comments:

Post a Comment